It's taken a few days to feel near normal again (and able to write this). There have been some difficult match reports to write this season, like Wigan for example, but this has to be the hardest. It's bad enough receiving the body blow of defeat in the play-offs, but to have to analyse it as well - well, it isn't the easiest of feats.
My reports are often written with the passion and emotion with which I support the Latics. It's hard being impartial, but you know that it is a must at times. And this is one of them.
Despite the fat lady singing next to me, the Latics will feel so hard-done by. In essence, everyone will know that this game was lost in the 1st leg by Miskelly's howler. The defence's never looked like leaking at Loftus Road and thus had it not been for a collective mistake, then that lapse of concentration 8 minutes from the end of the 180 minutes would merely have been an equaliser. Indeed, would QPR have been able to defend the way they did and attack with the caution applied, had they been chasing a 1-0 deficit? I doubt it and thus the Latics would have found them easier to break down.
As it was, this game always looked like it had just the one goal in it. Both defences looked strong and the 1st half was a marvel to watch for the attacking efforts, but the defensive prowess. Play was very evenly split between two evenly match sides but it always seemed that the Latics were the side more likely to break down a defence whereas any chances that QPR would get would be through our own minor mistakes. In the end, it was a collective error which would prove costly.
At the back, Haining and Hill were immense. Pogliacomi was a god-send and Hall was a towering strength. But it was sometimes Hall that was the loose cannon as he lost his way with a lack of intelligent outlaying. His headers seemed to fall to a QPR man when he had time to bring down the ball and play it and at times he caused unnecessary pressure on ourselves. Speaking frankly, his performances recently haven't quite been what we are used to.
Despite Hall's performances though, the team must be commended for an excellent season that they have given us fans. The true fans that is! When you look at the play-offs, just 1pt separated the 4 sides going into the final day and the narrow margins of both play-off semi-finals show that there has been little to split the four sides. Indeed, like Bristol City may say after their match on Tuesday, we too may feel that over the 2 legs the better side lost. But that "fat lady" ups her tempo when we think that, just to remind us that our season is now over.
The hardest thing about a play-off defeat (I'm 23, so this is my first experience of one) is the build-up. Not the build-up from May 3rd when the normal season ended but that which began for Latics fans on October 5th 2002. That day we beat Swindon 1-0 to go top during our wonderful 8 game winning streak. From then on, expectations were multiplied by a factor of 10. If we didn't win the title, we might win promotion. And if we didn't win promotion, we should surely be in the play-offs. And the nearer the play-offs came, the more we felt this could be our season. However when that bubble pops, boy, the deflation doesn't half feel horrible.
It all came down to this - what was now a one off cup match with everything at stake. For the Latics, in their precarious financial position, the word everything could be redefined as life or death. And the match was played in the true spirit (like the 1st leg) with grit, determination, a bit of cheating here and there and just the right amount of passion that you'd expect. For a neutral, this was the game to be there for - but I doubt there were many neutrals there on Wednesday.
A massive blow would be announced in the starting line up for the visitors though, as news of Clyde Wijnhard's recurring injury emerged. This meant he had played his last game and instead 2-goal John Eyre would enter as a striker to replace Wiggy and his 12 goals. What a time to lose him - but with the luck we have had this season I suppose we should've seen this coming. It's almost laughable.
With 4,000 back at Boundary Park for the live beam-back, the Latics had around 2,500 at Loftus Road and they made just as much noise as QPR's 15,000. Indeed, the noise prompted QPR to raise their tempo and that made for an electric atmosphere. The tension could have been sliced with a knife.
A nervy opening was epitomised early on as 10 minutes in, a Murray slip allowed QPR to attack down the left edge of the box and fire in a dangerous cross. Hill stamped his authority with a strong defensive header. The opening period was very even, but QPR had clearly started the stronger in the final 3rd. A minute later, Bircham tested the goal with a 20yr strike, but Pogliacomi dealt with it well. It was a save that the Latics stopper needed on his return to the team after a 7 game absence. It allowed him to settle and he showed this a minute later by gathering a dangerous cross.
With the Latics struggling to turn their fair share of possession into chances, it was QPR that again tested the visitors defence and from a free-kick, Furlong peeled off his marker to head narrowly wide into the side netting.
Finally, the Latics managed to break into the box as and on 17, Low placed a sweet ball into the danger area. Andrews missed connecting by inches, but Eyres followed up with a volley which deflected wide. QPR's defence cleared the 1st corner out for another one. Eyres' ball in found Haining at the near post who flicked on for Andrews at the far post. The Latics forward looked destined to nod home but he sent the ball agonisingly wide.
On 22, QPR responded with a lively attack and Latics hearts were in mouths when a ball flew up at Haining's hand in the box. The referee went to consult with his assistant. Fortunately common sense was applied as Haining had no way to avoid the ball.
The Latics were slowly turning their possession into chances now and on 29, they came closest to breaking the deadlock when a Latics free-kick was headed out as far as Sheridan. He powered an effort for goal but a slight deflection sent the ball an inch wide of the post. QPR cleared the corner easily and it was a clear indication of how well defences were playing, as despite the tempo neither side could make the breakthrough.
It was the visitors enjoying the larger amount of possession now but still, QPR were venturing into the oppositions box more often and on 39, chants of "same old Rangers, always cheating" rang around Loftus Road as the hosts screamed for another penalty appeal. This time a QPR player did his best to appear bundled over but the referee Mark Clattenburg (a man Latics fans worried about) rightly waved appeals away.
The visitors responded by applying more pressure towards the end of the half and Armstrong was unlucky to see his effort stopped with a last ditch block. Having enjoyed the end of the 1st half, the Latics also came out as the better side in the 2nd half. Wary that the game might be won through just one goal, it was the visitors that looked more likely to open up a defence. On 65, they almost did as Hall tapped Low's cross down for John Eyre on the edge of the box. He powered a dangerous smash narrowly over the bar.
The pace began to get more frantic as the game wore on and the chances disintegrated with it. Tackles flew in, and it was becoming tasty now. On 66, the Latics faced another penalty appeal but again Clattenburg waved away the shouts. However, four minutes later the Latics were less surprised by Clattenburg (cause this time he got it wrong) when he booked Eyre for falling over. If it was a dive, I'd love to know how you can dive backwards when kicking a ball forwards. To be fair though, it was the ref's only poor decision.
On 71, chances at both end saw McLeod, a QPR player that had upped his game, fire a shot from an angle on the edge of the box. It bounced awkwardly right in front of Pogi but somehow he manage to cling onto the ball well. The Latics broke and Andrews fired a low drive across goal, but it ran narrowly wide of the far post.
Having just been booked, John Eyre was now walking a dangerous line and when he hopelessly hacked at a ball but got the man on 73, Latics fans expected Clattenburg to send him off. In a strange twist of fate, he didn't but it meant Dowie had to now sub him or lose him. This would undoubtedly change the game for the visitors, as Eyre was duly replaced by Corazzin.
Now, the emphasis seemed to change for the Latics. And in defence, something started to look missing. For some reason, Haining wasn't anticipating QPR's forward balls as much to cut them out and then on 78, loose-cannon Hall misjudged another defensive header and instead sprayed it out to McLeod who was free on the left. He hit one for Pogi's near post and although he should have had it easily covered, even the big Aussie looked shaken as he spilled the ball. Armstrong just managed to scramble the ball clear in the ensuing melee.
You sensed that the Latics were under the cosh now after being forced to replace Eyre minutes earlier and on 77, Pogi made a glorious save. McLeod was chief tormentor now and this time he placed a deadly pin-point cross in the box for Furlong at the far post. Nobody had tracked him and thus Pogi faced the striker on his own. Furlong pulled the trigger, but Pogi had expertly closed the angle meaning the QPR man had just the eye of a needle to threaded the ball through. Instead the ball was thrashed against Pogi and cleared.
The warning signs had been there though and despite having more possession, QPR were waiting for just one mistake to punish. On 82, it duly arrived. A long ball forward gave Pogi the chance to take 2 touches, one to control offering him time to look up and pick his pass and then the second to execute the pass. Oh, if only!!! Instead, Pogi cut his foot through the ball 1st time, hitting a low ball towards the centre-circle and straight to QPR. The ball was fired back immediately, Furlong set-off to chase it and Haining stayed routed to the spot. By now, Furlong was clear of the defence and as Armstrong chased desperately, the striker coolly held him off and slotted home past Pogi. 0-1.
It was a devastating blow for the Latics and with just 8 minutes to go, the task now looked immense. Indeed, in the end it proved the case. To be honest, not a lot could be taken in after the goal. I vaguely remember QPR having another great chance to bury the game, before at the other end Andrews needlessly kicked out to receive a deserved red card. And then at the death, Day pulled off a magnificent save to stop Hall's toe poke from keeping Latics hopes alive. But it was all too much.
The Latics had tried, but for this season had failed. It had been fun but it ended in tears. Many turning points could be looked at, most convincingly being Pogi's injury by Littlejohn, as he would never have allowed QPR to equalise in the 1st leg. But alas, that's in the past. No matter how hard you look for one, there is no consolation to this bitter end to the season.
Now, hindsight would be a wonderful thing to have. All I can say is that if Latics fans have been made to go through this for us to be Champions next season, then we must settle for that. Fingers crossed. Until August, try and have a good summer, keep well and safe and most importantly - keep the faith!!!